Mementos
I define mementos as anything that you keep purely out of sentimental reasons. They might fulfill a function if you give them one, but generally speaking, they’re there because there are memories attached to them or someone gave them to you.
Mementos are the last category in the KonMari Method tidying process for a reason. For most people, the items in this category are the most difficult to make a decision about. So you want to leave them to last. It’s ok to take your time with them.
Decision Helper Questions
- Asking my clients questions are one of my tools to help them move along in their tidying process. When it comes to “difficult mementos”, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
- Are you following your intuition?
- What do you think would happen if you decided to let go of this item?
- Would you feel guilty? And/or would you feel relief/like a weight lifted off your shoulder?
- Do you think someone else would be mad at you?
- If you answered “yes” to the question above, is that feeling actually valid (e.g., have you ever talked to that person about how you feel about those items)?
- Do you think [insert person] would want you to keep their things/gifts around if they didn’t truly bring YOU joy?
Going Deeper
The above questions can also be treated as prompts to go a little deeper if that’s what you need to do. Maybe you’d like to talk to a friend about it. Sometimes talking things out and getting another person’s perspective on it is all you need to help you get unstuck.
Or you might decide to journal about those questions and let your thoughts and feelings flow out of you this way. No matter which way you choose to go deeper here, the important thing is to release those thoughts and feelings. It helps you process your thoughts and feelings and quite likely bring you closer to a decision. But also know that you might not arrive at a satisfying decision immediately. And that’s ok too.
Moving Forward
Sometimes it’s also good to just make a decision about something already instead of pondering it over and over again. Just make a decision whether you want to keep the item(s) in question or not. Don’t dwell on it for weeks or months on end. Just do what feels right for you at this time. It’s either a “yes, still keep” or a “no, let go”.
If you’re not ready to let go yet (whether it’s feelings of guilt etc.), just be confident in your decision, keep the item(s) and move on with your life. At a later point, you may decide that you’re ready to let go of (some more of) the items. Sometimes it just takes a little bit longer for you to truly feel ready. Be confident in your decision.
Marie Kondo Quotes
To say it in Marie Kondo’s words:
The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.
and I might add: … and not for the person someone else believes or wants you to be.
Another one:
Focus […] on choosing the things that inspire joy and on enjoying life according to your own standards.
And a last one:
Just because you dispose of something does not mean you give up past experiences or your identity. Through the process of selecting only those things that inspire joy, you can identify precisely what you love and what you need. When we honestly confront the things we own, they evoke many emotions within us. Those feelings are real. It is these emotions that give us the energy for living.
Do you have a hard time making a decision about mementos? What are you particularly struggling with? Let me know in the comments below!
(Lisa Tselebidis is a professional organizer and KonMari certified consultant offering in-home services in the NYC, New York-area as well as virtual services worldwide. Get in touch with her here.)
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