(Guest post by Tyler Moore – The Tidy Dad: Instagram & website)
I am a husband, father of 3 girls, and a New York City teacher. For the past three years, I have been on a journey to tidy up my life. I have learned that when you tidy your personal space, it can have a profound impact on other areas of your life too!
Three years ago my life was a mess.
My daughters were 2 years old and 8 months old, and New York passed a new Paid Family Leave act that allowed parents to take 8 weeks off from work to spend time with their children during their first year of life. I found out I was eligible to take leave from my job as a school administrator.
Before taking leave, I felt like my life was swirling out of control.
Each day while I walked to work, anxiety and stress would continually build as I crossed each street. In an attempt to control my anxiety and stress, I poured myself even deeper into my work. Of course, that didn’t help things.
I’d rush home at the end of the workday to spend time with my wife and daughters, but my excitement to see them would quickly fade as my anxiety and stress levels also rose at home. I was overwhelmed by all the toddler and baby items, clothing, and toys that were beginning to fill our space, and didn’t feel like I could relax in the mess.
During leave, my tidying journey began. For the first time in years, I actually had the time to stop, breathe, and think. I came to realize that I was in the midst of an early-30s crisis.
After a few days at home, a big idea popped into my head. I asked my wife, “Why don’t we switch bedrooms with the girls?” She was skeptical, told me that we should think about it, and then took the girls to the playground for the afternoon. As soon as she stepped out, I got to work moving furniture.
It was impulsive, but I wanted to prove that our queen bed could fit into the tiny “nursery” bedroom and that the girls could have their crib and toddler bed in the larger bedroom, along with lots of extra floor space to play. The furniture did indeed fit, and Emily agreed to move forward with the room switch. However, the process threw the entire small apartment into chaos, as we began to empty dressers, closets, and bookshelves, and prepare to make a complete switch.
Emily checked out the book “Spark Joy” by Marie Kondo from the library. The book fundamentally shifted our approach to tidying our physical space. Instead of simply reorganizing the items we owned into the 2 new bedrooms, we systemically went through our entire apartment by category and intentionally chose which items to keep. We got rid of bags and bags of clothing, and other random items, and then reorganized our possessions to make the most of our 700-square-foot apartment.
The process of tidying our home had a lasting impact on my life. The process unconsciously triggered a “tidy up your life” project. After I confronted my attachment to material possessions, I began to examine my motivation for pursuing positional power at work, my desire to seek out the affirmation of others, and my difficulty expressing my feelings.
The tidying process helped me to hone my decision-making abilities. By questioning and naming what truly brought joy in my life, I was able to gain a new perspective. I realized that climbing the career ladder to pursue positional power and external affirmation was actually undermining my happiness. So I decided not to pursue an available promotion, and instead left my school administration job to return to teaching, my true love and passion. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and has allowed me to spend more time with my family.
I firmly believe the process of tidying or putting things in order, doesn’t only apply to the physical space in a home. It can also apply to our habits, routines, and careers. In the past three years since I started my tidying journey, I have returned to teaching, bought a cottage as a vacation home in Pennsylvania, had my third daughter, launched thetidydad.com website, and reset the trajectory of my life.
I started Tidy Dad to share my personal tidying journey and possibly inspire others to embark on their own journey to tidy, simplify, and find joy in their lives.
